It's the little things...

When I'm stressing about everything... everything that's really nothing at all...God has a strange way of bringing me back to reality. It's at the most random times that my kids always seem to bring me back to where I need to be...without saying a word.
                             
   Here is one of those times...

Working out?!?!

I have gotten a lot of advice over the years about how I can get fit. I think I might have a slight form of ADHD because I’m not the type of person that can stick to something boring or to ANYTHING for too long. I know people who jog… walk… ride their bike…ride the exercise bike…. Walk the treadmill… go hiking…yoga… Pilates…aerobics and a million other things… I’m trying to figure out something I can do that I will actually enjoy….that will actually motivate me to want to go out there and sweat.


I’ve walked around my neighborhood….Boring. Treadmill… boring….Stairmaster…too much work…yoga…I can’t bust those moves those white ladies do (not that flexible)…. Pilates (one time)…. Came home and threw up. The only thing I haven’t tried is bike riding. I was thinking about getting a bike and riding around my neighborhood but I fear that if I buy one and then don’t use it, my husband, as supportive as he is, will give me the “You bought something else you didn’t use?” look. He won’t say anything about it… but I know he will be thinking it. I know… I can only imagine what he was thinking about all the $$$ spent on the Mary Kay products that are sitting in bedroom…short lived dreams of me cruising in a pink Cadillac.

Anyway, I’m curious about how the majority of people get their sweat on. Maybe I will go with the majority. So…… how do YOU work out?

Don't Judge me...

So my last posting was about my mommy tummy. I got a lot of feedback about that. So many people talking about "Heaven, you should do this... do that.... go jogging... take the kids to the park... wake up early and run... put the kids to sleep and work out to a DVD.....whah.... blah.. blah... whah...." I was overwhelmed. I was thinking... Man that is so much easier said then done. YES! And I know it sounds like excuses I'm making for not working out, but I'd like to call them good explanations with frosting on top... and sprinkles....with fudge drizzled on it.... Damn I sound fat as hell... ANYWAY.. what I'm saying is that I have a really good excuse to not work out. TIME! I know what you're thinking! You have to make time. I once had a friend lose 90 pounds and she told me she made time to work out. She made it fit in the day and it was a must to get it done. She treated it just as important as picking her son up from day care every evening..... Well thats great and everything but I don't think I'm fat enough to have that kind of ambition. Still sounds like excuses huh... I KNOW I KNOW damn it! I just want it to be easy! Why can't I just look like this...

This amazing bitch had 3 kids in like 2 months and looks like this now! And her youngest is like 5 months! Don't you just hate hoes like this! Ok... I'm kidding... she's a pal of mine. But seriously, how does this broad have 3 kids that are all 2yrs and under and wear this dress?!?! Maybe I should I ask her how she does it as opposed to stealing her pic off facebook and posting it on my blog without her permission. Yeah...whatever.

Anyhow, I DID attempt to get up yesterday morning and this morning and work out. 45 minutes yesterday and 30 minutes today. I just walked to this walking DVD the hubby got me from Sam's Club. Yesterday I got a lil sweat in and I was feeling good.... but then.... I had to go to work and be in by noon and didn't get to eat breakfast OR lunch so I had to pick up something on the way to work and then I had to eat lunch at work..... but because I have about 20 minutes to get the lunch and then 46 seconds to eat the lunch at my desk, I had to go with what was fast, cheap and easy.

                       So.... here are my meals for yesterday. Once again...Don't judge me!

Zaxby's for breakfast/lunch on the way to work...of course with a soda to wash it all down. Ya know Zaxby's can be salty! I needed the soda!

And some Subway at my desk for lunch... and YES...that is a 32oz soda.... for the last time. Don't judge me!

Oh and just in case you were wondering, dinner was about 4 bites of the sub that I left behind from lunch. All in a days work...

Who needs a scale when you have a 5 yr old?

One day I was in the kitchen in front of the stove making a meal for the family while talking on the phone. It was a rare warmer day during the winter so I had a wife beater on and some yoga pants. Raven comes into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator to get something to drink and does a double take… and starts staring at my mid-section. She closes the fridge and starts slowly walking towards me like she is trying to creep up on a roach to smash it. She gets real close and takes her index finger and pokes me in my stomach and damn near hits my intestines. She says “Mommy….. Why is your stomach so…BIG!??” I had the cell phone tucked in between my shoulder and ear so it almost landed in the pasta sauce, but I managed to intercept it and tell my homey I would call her back. I hang up and say “Raven… What I told you about talking to me when I’m on the phone?”


“I’m sorry mommy but your stomach is coming out of your pants. Why did it get so big?”

“Well, Raven. My stomach got big because when you were in my tummy and Rhea was in my tummy, my stomach had to stretch and get big to make room for the both of you to grow into strong and healthy babies.”

“Oh ok. (She is quiet and still looking at the stomach.) “But mommy, me and Rhea were in your tummy a long time ago. So how come your stomach is still big? Is it going to go away?”

“It will go away. I just have to exercise and it might go away.”

(Now she is smiling big)…“Well mommy. Maybe you don’t need to exercise. Maybe your tummy is big because there is another baby in there!”

I appreciated her optimism and even though she had no idea of what she was saying, I still wanted to back slap her for callling her Mommy fat.

Perhaps maybe I DO need to work out. Perhaps I do need to lose the tummy. It’s not really a matter of if I can do it. It’s more a matter of WILL I do it. I am so not motivated to work out. There is nothing about working out that excites me. And I know that how I treat my body now WILL affect how my body treats me 30 years from now but STILL… I don’t wanna! I think the reason why I don’t really work out is because I have been able to camouflage the tummy for all these years. I don’t really wear things that accentuate the tummy. I wear loose clothing and I have learned to play it off. I sometimes wish that I would gain a lot of weight EVERYWHERE so the weight will be obvious and people would be like “Wow Heaven, you look… different!” Which means fat of course. And then THAT will make me feel bad enough to work out. Ya think?? Or would I end up on one of these talk shows and say, “I don’t know what happened? It just got out of control! One day I just woke up and realized that I was 600 lbs! Ya know?… I wasn’t always like this Oprah.”

I know I’m lucky and I know I’m still really small for having two kids. (126 lbs to be exact.) But I want to wear certain clothes that I can’t wear cause of the tummy. The tummy makes me feel older than I should and I really AM sick of it. But apparently not sick enough to do something about it. I am not the type of woman that can walk around with fat hanging out on the sides of my pants and shit like that. I cover my flaws up! I don’t want to see my rolls hanging over my pants so I don’t see why anyone else would.

I wish I could say that writing this has motivated me to get my shit together. But it hasn’t. I’m just going to sit here and drink a Pepsi. I’m sure that will make me feel better. Hey! Don’t judge me! It’s 10 am! I COULD pull out some wine instead!

Now I lay me, down to sleep...

Come on! You can hate kids, men or just black people all together... but you HAVE TO admit that this is the cutest thing EVER! Daddy and Rhea saying their prayers. A rare moment that they are actually getting along. Gotta love it!

This is how you save $$$$

The paranoid mom worries about the kids sight when they are watching TV too close. The financially savvy mom lets the kid have the IMAX experience right at home! Have you ever took a family of four to the IMAX theater?!?! We might as well go to Disney World! That crap is expensive!

This is a serious matter...

You would think they have gathered together to watch Obama’s Inaugural speech or something important like that… They were watching a Dora the Explorer Christmas special. Hey! Don’t hate! That Dora drops some serious knowledge! Who needs Spanish class when you got a traveling Mexican with a monkey?!? But seriously though… Dora DID teach Raven how to count from 1 to 10 in espanol!!