Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I'm MOVING!!!
I'm moving to WordPress... you don't have to miss me at all! Just click the link to be redirected... http://www.onlyoneheaven.com/
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Facebook Fast Over
So it’s August 1st and today is not only my mom’s 51st birthday, but it’s also the day I get to log back into Facebook. It’s an hour until midnight and I have yet to log in today. This is very surprising to me because Facebook used to be the first, last and everything in between thing that I did. When I first decided to do this fast, I thought it would be hard and everyday would be a struggle. But as the time came closer to log on, it’s like I wanted to extend the fast to a whole month. It’s been two weeks since I’ve logged on and I actually like the time I’ve had to myself to do other things like… Comb the dreads out of my kid’s hair or read through my 1, 546 unread emails (I only got through 400 of them) or watch a television show or cuddle up on the couch with the laundry or just THINK. Facebook was always the perfect way for me to not think about what I wasn’t accomplishing. Instead, I would just look at what everyone else was accomplishing or fronting like they were accomplishing. I’ve been on the internet several times today and a few times I would make my way to Facebook …and put in my email into the user name and then when I get to the password, I stop and go to a different Web site. I feel like an alcoholic who hasn’t had a drink in a while… opening and closing the cupboard to where all the Seagram’s gin is stashed…
I know you can’t really compare the two but you know what I mean… It’s like I want to… cause it what I’m used to and I feel like I’m missing out. But I DON’T want to because I don’t want to open the flood gates… and go back to where I used to be. Kinda like Paul Abdul’s old song, “Two steps forward and two steps back.” And I want to continue on this path of progression and figure some more things out about myself..... I feel like as entertaining as Facebook can be, in my case, it’s more of a hindrance than entertainment.
Perhaps maybe now that I have been without it for this long, I can manage my time on it better and actually use it for occasional mindless entertainment…… instead of using it as a time wasting escape from reality. Perhaps… the only way to find out is to log on now at 11:24pm and see what time I actually log off…
The lord works in mysterious ways. Hubby just sent me a message saying come to bed….. so perhaps I will find out when I log on tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
I know you can’t really compare the two but you know what I mean… It’s like I want to… cause it what I’m used to and I feel like I’m missing out. But I DON’T want to because I don’t want to open the flood gates… and go back to where I used to be. Kinda like Paul Abdul’s old song, “Two steps forward and two steps back.” And I want to continue on this path of progression and figure some more things out about myself..... I feel like as entertaining as Facebook can be, in my case, it’s more of a hindrance than entertainment.
Perhaps maybe now that I have been without it for this long, I can manage my time on it better and actually use it for occasional mindless entertainment…… instead of using it as a time wasting escape from reality. Perhaps… the only way to find out is to log on now at 11:24pm and see what time I actually log off…
The lord works in mysterious ways. Hubby just sent me a message saying come to bed….. so perhaps I will find out when I log on tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Street Vernacular
Me and the hubby had a nice evening planned. The nice evening consisted of us eating ice cream in the bed after putting the kids to sleep… and then getting some “man/wife” time….. Which eventually would lead to going to bed by a decent hour so neither one of us would wake up cranky in the morning. And yes, when you’re married with kids, you have to schedule your frisky hour… There is no spontaneity involved; unless you want your kids to catch you with your ass in the air of course… Anyhow, frisky hour (30 minutes MAX for me), was planned out and we were in the bed. I had the laptop in the bed with me and I was checking some emails that were too large to open up earlier on my Blackberry. My friend sent me a YouTube video that me and hubby watched together. After watching this video together, there was no need for frisky hour. After replaying this video several times and laughing ourselves to sleep, we had all the satisfaction we needed for one night. But trust me, I didn’t get off that easy…he made me late for work in the morning…
Here is the video…
Watching this video made me happy and ashamed to be black all at the same time. Black people can be so entertaining and colorful, but yet so inappropriate and disappointing!
At the 40 second mark, the young lady was so matter of fact about her attack… She seemed like she was more annoyed that she had broken glass on her floor than the fact that she almost got raped. She says, “I was attacked by some IDIOT, from out here in the projects!” Well dayum… She said that like it’s an every Thursday night occurrence that some stranger comes through the window and rubs on her booty while she is asleep! But then again, SHE IS… in the projects, so perhaps she’s just grateful that her ear wasn’t grazed by a stray bullet from the drive by the night before… could be… could be not… just a theory.
But what really had my stomach hurting was the SheMan brother who saved the day! He has to be the funniest thing that has ever been posted on Youtube… hands down.
At 59 seconds he says, “Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, AND hide ya husband… cause they rapin errrrrbody out here!” Do you see how black people just be exaggerating??! Whose husband got raped?? What is he talking about? Why does he have to be so extra??
He continues by saying, “You done left finger prints and all!!!! You are so dumb!”… Notice he was stomping his right foot and had his head cocked to the side as he was saying that (replay it and see at 1:22)… and he needed to do all that for emphasis of course. He needed errrybody to know how dumb the rapist is…
And I LOVE the part where he says…
“We GONE find you… I’mma let you know Nah! So you can go and runtellDAT!..... HOMEBOY!”... All that was missing from this video was for him to end it off with a high pitched… “Biyeetch!”
Why can’t black people act right in front of the camera?? Don’t they know that the whites are looking at them and shaking their heads thinking…“We should have left their asses in Africa!”
I understand that if you are ghetto and project you are simply ghetto and project! But if I know how to get right and speak properly in front of people from a different persuasion, I don’t see why this man who looks like a cross between a rat and crack head can’t either… I’m just saying… I’m not saying that you have to front for people and be someone who you aren’t, but I do think that you should be able to adapt to your surroundings and behave accordingly…. Should you not? And THIS is why people from all races, including black people always say, “Now you know black folks don’t know how to act!”
Dave Chapelle said it best when he was being interviewed on some show (can’t remember the show) but he said, “There is a difference between speaking Job Interview and Street Vernacular.” It’s safe to say that buddy in the video is NOT bilingual!
Now RuntellDAT!... Biyeetch!!!
Oh and one final thing… AS IF, this damn video wasn’t already funny enough, someone with some time on their hands made a remix!! I love it!
Here is the video…
Watching this video made me happy and ashamed to be black all at the same time. Black people can be so entertaining and colorful, but yet so inappropriate and disappointing!
At the 40 second mark, the young lady was so matter of fact about her attack… She seemed like she was more annoyed that she had broken glass on her floor than the fact that she almost got raped. She says, “I was attacked by some IDIOT, from out here in the projects!” Well dayum… She said that like it’s an every Thursday night occurrence that some stranger comes through the window and rubs on her booty while she is asleep! But then again, SHE IS… in the projects, so perhaps she’s just grateful that her ear wasn’t grazed by a stray bullet from the drive by the night before… could be… could be not… just a theory.
But what really had my stomach hurting was the SheMan brother who saved the day! He has to be the funniest thing that has ever been posted on Youtube… hands down.
At 59 seconds he says, “Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, AND hide ya husband… cause they rapin errrrrbody out here!” Do you see how black people just be exaggerating??! Whose husband got raped?? What is he talking about? Why does he have to be so extra??
He continues by saying, “You done left finger prints and all!!!! You are so dumb!”… Notice he was stomping his right foot and had his head cocked to the side as he was saying that (replay it and see at 1:22)… and he needed to do all that for emphasis of course. He needed errrybody to know how dumb the rapist is…
And I LOVE the part where he says…
“We GONE find you… I’mma let you know Nah! So you can go and runtellDAT!..... HOMEBOY!”... All that was missing from this video was for him to end it off with a high pitched… “Biyeetch!”
Why can’t black people act right in front of the camera?? Don’t they know that the whites are looking at them and shaking their heads thinking…“We should have left their asses in Africa!”
I understand that if you are ghetto and project you are simply ghetto and project! But if I know how to get right and speak properly in front of people from a different persuasion, I don’t see why this man who looks like a cross between a rat and crack head can’t either… I’m just saying… I’m not saying that you have to front for people and be someone who you aren’t, but I do think that you should be able to adapt to your surroundings and behave accordingly…. Should you not? And THIS is why people from all races, including black people always say, “Now you know black folks don’t know how to act!”
Dave Chapelle said it best when he was being interviewed on some show (can’t remember the show) but he said, “There is a difference between speaking Job Interview and Street Vernacular.” It’s safe to say that buddy in the video is NOT bilingual!
Now RuntellDAT!... Biyeetch!!!
Oh and one final thing… AS IF, this damn video wasn’t already funny enough, someone with some time on their hands made a remix!! I love it!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
No sex in the champagne room...
So… I have a homey named Stephan. My homey is a young, black man that has had his fair share of body counts…(basically, women he has had sexual encounters with.) One day, God tells my homey to fold it up, tuck it in and zip it closed… No more nookie for you. That was 2 and half years ago… Click the link below to listen to the why and how of his choice to live a life of celibacy…
Questions for Stephan?? Hit him up!
Stephanl_03@hotmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=527211929
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Facebook Fast...
I’m on Facebook ..... A LOT! I check Facebook all day on my phone while at work… and when I get home from work, I check it again several times on my computer before I go to sleep ….. AND before I go to work, I’m on it again, which usually makes me LATE for work…. Recently, while I was on Facebook, I found myself getting bored. I was thinking, “Damn, ain’t shit going on on Facebook!” And then I had to ask myself, "What are you looking for??" And I didn’t even have an answer! I realized that I’m on Facebook doing nothing at all but wasting valuable, precious time…
What really opened my eyes was when my daughter said “Mommy, why are you always on the computer?” I kept looking at the screen… I heard her… just chose to ignore her…. “Mommy, can you come watch Hannah Montana Forever with me?”
I kept looking at the screen. “Yes, Raven. Just give me a minute…”
She turns away, walks off and says, “I know what that means…. You’re not coming…”
It was the first time I looked away from the screen and I just watched her swing her arms back and forth and throw herself on the couch…
This lil heifer’s words cut me like a knife and she didn’t even know it…And THEN she had the nerve to walk off with an attitude like it was nothing…. Cold blooded!!
It was the shock treatment I needed. It was at that point I realized that I need to get my shit together and deactivate my account for a while. I deactivated it today and made a decision to not log on for the rest of the month…until August 1st. That’s exactly two week. May not seem like a long time, but it’s a long time for someone who has been on Facebook at least once a week, every week, since 2005. That’s a lot of damn time to be spending looking at insignificant people’s pictures and status updates…
I really don’t feel like I will be missing much though… Facebook isn’t the same anymore anyway. I remember the days when Facebook was only for college students and grads that had higher educational institutions email addresses. I actually had to contact my Alma mater and activate my heaven33@ufl.edu email to register and even get onto Facebook…. Back in the day when it was www.thefacebook.com!!
I knew Facebook had gone to hell recently when I was in line at the movie theater getting some popcorn……….. and these two 60+ white women were having a discussion about how tagging pictures works!! I had the itch to deactivate my account at that point, but I never got around to doing it…
I deactivated my account earlier today, at about 3pm eastern time… Since then, I have gotten on my computer and visited different Web sites. But I quickly realized that the majority of my Internet time is spent ON FACEBOOK. So since deactivating the account, I pull up the Internet, go to a few sites and turn off the computer in a matter of 10 minutes or so….
I've always said that people who sit on their computer looking at celeb gossip all day have nothing better to do with their lives… They need to find something to do with themselves… Exercise! Find a hobby! Get a man/woman! Read a book! ......Well, I’m going to take the only advice that I would have ever taken from Michael Jackson and I’m going to look at the woman in the mirror… and make that change.
I’m interested in seeing if fasting from Facebook for the next two weeks is going to help me in anyway, besides give me more time to actually wash dishes/read books/snuggle on couch with kids or even fit in some sex! Regardless of what I do or don’t get out of it, I’m willing to try something new for a change…Change is good. Hey, ya never know! I may never log onto Facebook ever again!.... I highly doubt it but it's a possibility! A small possibility. So... wish me luck!!!! Hopefully by tomorrow I won't be foaming at the mouth and slip into a coma from withdrawl...
Now who’s coming to rehab with me?!?!?!
What really opened my eyes was when my daughter said “Mommy, why are you always on the computer?” I kept looking at the screen… I heard her… just chose to ignore her…. “Mommy, can you come watch Hannah Montana Forever with me?”
I kept looking at the screen. “Yes, Raven. Just give me a minute…”
She turns away, walks off and says, “I know what that means…. You’re not coming…”
It was the first time I looked away from the screen and I just watched her swing her arms back and forth and throw herself on the couch…
This lil heifer’s words cut me like a knife and she didn’t even know it…And THEN she had the nerve to walk off with an attitude like it was nothing…. Cold blooded!!
It was the shock treatment I needed. It was at that point I realized that I need to get my shit together and deactivate my account for a while. I deactivated it today and made a decision to not log on for the rest of the month…until August 1st. That’s exactly two week. May not seem like a long time, but it’s a long time for someone who has been on Facebook at least once a week, every week, since 2005. That’s a lot of damn time to be spending looking at insignificant people’s pictures and status updates…
I really don’t feel like I will be missing much though… Facebook isn’t the same anymore anyway. I remember the days when Facebook was only for college students and grads that had higher educational institutions email addresses. I actually had to contact my Alma mater and activate my heaven33@ufl.edu email to register and even get onto Facebook…. Back in the day when it was www.thefacebook.com!!
I knew Facebook had gone to hell recently when I was in line at the movie theater getting some popcorn……….. and these two 60+ white women were having a discussion about how tagging pictures works!! I had the itch to deactivate my account at that point, but I never got around to doing it…
I deactivated my account earlier today, at about 3pm eastern time… Since then, I have gotten on my computer and visited different Web sites. But I quickly realized that the majority of my Internet time is spent ON FACEBOOK. So since deactivating the account, I pull up the Internet, go to a few sites and turn off the computer in a matter of 10 minutes or so….
I've always said that people who sit on their computer looking at celeb gossip all day have nothing better to do with their lives… They need to find something to do with themselves… Exercise! Find a hobby! Get a man/woman! Read a book! ......Well, I’m going to take the only advice that I would have ever taken from Michael Jackson and I’m going to look at the woman in the mirror… and make that change.
I’m interested in seeing if fasting from Facebook for the next two weeks is going to help me in anyway, besides give me more time to actually wash dishes/read books/snuggle on couch with kids or even fit in some sex! Regardless of what I do or don’t get out of it, I’m willing to try something new for a change…Change is good. Hey, ya never know! I may never log onto Facebook ever again!.... I highly doubt it but it's a possibility! A small possibility. So... wish me luck!!!! Hopefully by tomorrow I won't be foaming at the mouth and slip into a coma from withdrawl...
Now who’s coming to rehab with me?!?!?!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Parents... Take it from me...
It’s hard as hell to be a good parent and to try to make the right decisions for your children. You can take advise from your parents, or other parents…. or even your friends that don't even have kids, but have a degree in Early childhood, but at the end of the day, you have to do what YOU think is best for your child… Besides, you're the only one that really knows what’s best for your child right??? Unless of course, you are a raggedy ass parent that drops off your kid to your family and friends each and every day because you have weed that needs to be smoked… (And yes I know someone that does that…)
Anyhow, me and my husband try our hardest to be good parents and show our lil divas lots of love….. and we give them enormous amounts of praise, so that hopefully one day they can be strong minded, confident young ladies… We make the smallest accomplishments the BIGGEST deal ever and because of that, they REALLY think they are hot shit! But I much rather them be over confident than to have low self esteem.
For example, I remember the day Raven ran towards me full speed and screamed, "MOMMY, I just peed on the toilet, I washed my hands WITH soap, ANNNNNND…… I closed the bathroom door afterwards so that Rhea doesn't play with the toilet water…. OH OH… ANNNNNND… when I flushed the toilet, I didn't even put my fingers in my ears!!!!!! Aren't you proud of me???" Right now you're thinking… "fingers in her ears??" What’s up with that right? Well, she has a "thing" about loud noises, so flushing the toilet is just one of those things she rather not do…. The point is, we make a Really big deal out of their small accomplishments and because of this, they think they are the fastest, prettiest, smartest things that have ever walked the planet. And YOU have seen their pictures on this blog so they are OBVIOUSLY the prettiest…I mean duh… they did come out of my pretty business…
But them thinking that they are hot shit can backfire sometimes…
And because we are fairly young parents, I’m willing to admit that we have made some mistakes too. Although we are knowledgeable enough to know that our kids will define themselves according to how we raise them, we realize that some things that we have kept from them, (to protect them) may indeed have actually been GOOD for them…
Here is an example of how keeping away things that you feel are "inappropriate" for a child may end up being a bad choice. We don't allow our kids to watch music videos… pretty much anything on B.E.T… and not because they have the absolute WORST programming out of 6000 channels, but because the videos now a days are a lil bit too much and can be very suggestive! Everything is pretty much soft porn… and all the lil woman on there are thrusting something here or licking something there…. Some girl is kissing another girl… and all types of foolishness…. So we don't let the girls watch B.E.T and that is pretty easy to do since we don't really watch the channel at ALL anyway…. It hasn't been the same since Free and AJ left anyway…. and Rocsi works my LAST damn reserved nerve… Is the bitch black or NOT? So annoying!!
Anyhow, because they don't watch those videos, and because we don't really have opportunities to dance in front of the kids…. AND because I'm too cheap to let a white girl from Albany, Georgia teach my black kids hip-hop at the local dance school…. my girls learn how to dance from the best resources they have, they learn from each other! Along with Disney Channel and SpongeBob Square pants of course. So you can just imagine what they look like when they are dancing right?? As brown as my kids are, when that music comes on, they immediately turn into Becky, Suzy, Sally or Britney. (Which reminds me, Raven boycotted her name for a few months when she was 3… and only wanted to be called Britney.) Do you see what Disney Channel will do to your children??
So the valuable lesson that I learned…. and in turn want other parents to learn, if they haven't already IS…. Let those damn kids watch a few music videos!!!! OR ELSE… they will wind up like this…
This is a video of Raven dancing to one of my hometown's classic songs… Peanut Butter Jelly. Hubby introduced the song to her on youtube.com. The only video he found was a lil banana cartoon dancing to the song… I tried to teach the child the right way to dance to the music…she refused and because we always emphasize to her that she is so GREAT at everything, no matter how retarded she looks or sounds… she wanted to emulate the banana and dance like her name was Suze Anne.
First video is the banana… second video is the monkey we call Raven A.KA. Britney, dancing like the banana.
When she was done dancing she asks, "MOMMY…. Did I do good???" And of course my response to her was… "Raven, you were AMAZING!"
Anyhow, me and my husband try our hardest to be good parents and show our lil divas lots of love….. and we give them enormous amounts of praise, so that hopefully one day they can be strong minded, confident young ladies… We make the smallest accomplishments the BIGGEST deal ever and because of that, they REALLY think they are hot shit! But I much rather them be over confident than to have low self esteem.
For example, I remember the day Raven ran towards me full speed and screamed, "MOMMY, I just peed on the toilet, I washed my hands WITH soap, ANNNNNND…… I closed the bathroom door afterwards so that Rhea doesn't play with the toilet water…. OH OH… ANNNNNND… when I flushed the toilet, I didn't even put my fingers in my ears!!!!!! Aren't you proud of me???" Right now you're thinking… "fingers in her ears??" What’s up with that right? Well, she has a "thing" about loud noises, so flushing the toilet is just one of those things she rather not do…. The point is, we make a Really big deal out of their small accomplishments and because of this, they think they are the fastest, prettiest, smartest things that have ever walked the planet. And YOU have seen their pictures on this blog so they are OBVIOUSLY the prettiest…I mean duh… they did come out of my pretty business…
But them thinking that they are hot shit can backfire sometimes…
And because we are fairly young parents, I’m willing to admit that we have made some mistakes too. Although we are knowledgeable enough to know that our kids will define themselves according to how we raise them, we realize that some things that we have kept from them, (to protect them) may indeed have actually been GOOD for them…
Here is an example of how keeping away things that you feel are "inappropriate" for a child may end up being a bad choice. We don't allow our kids to watch music videos… pretty much anything on B.E.T… and not because they have the absolute WORST programming out of 6000 channels, but because the videos now a days are a lil bit too much and can be very suggestive! Everything is pretty much soft porn… and all the lil woman on there are thrusting something here or licking something there…. Some girl is kissing another girl… and all types of foolishness…. So we don't let the girls watch B.E.T and that is pretty easy to do since we don't really watch the channel at ALL anyway…. It hasn't been the same since Free and AJ left anyway…. and Rocsi works my LAST damn reserved nerve… Is the bitch black or NOT? So annoying!!
Anyhow, because they don't watch those videos, and because we don't really have opportunities to dance in front of the kids…. AND because I'm too cheap to let a white girl from Albany, Georgia teach my black kids hip-hop at the local dance school…. my girls learn how to dance from the best resources they have, they learn from each other! Along with Disney Channel and SpongeBob Square pants of course. So you can just imagine what they look like when they are dancing right?? As brown as my kids are, when that music comes on, they immediately turn into Becky, Suzy, Sally or Britney. (Which reminds me, Raven boycotted her name for a few months when she was 3… and only wanted to be called Britney.) Do you see what Disney Channel will do to your children??
So the valuable lesson that I learned…. and in turn want other parents to learn, if they haven't already IS…. Let those damn kids watch a few music videos!!!! OR ELSE… they will wind up like this…
This is a video of Raven dancing to one of my hometown's classic songs… Peanut Butter Jelly. Hubby introduced the song to her on youtube.com. The only video he found was a lil banana cartoon dancing to the song… I tried to teach the child the right way to dance to the music…she refused and because we always emphasize to her that she is so GREAT at everything, no matter how retarded she looks or sounds… she wanted to emulate the banana and dance like her name was Suze Anne.
First video is the banana… second video is the monkey we call Raven A.KA. Britney, dancing like the banana.
When she was done dancing she asks, "MOMMY…. Did I do good???" And of course my response to her was… "Raven, you were AMAZING!"
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Random Rant - Poop and Skeet
You know what is REALLY annoying to me… What's annoying is taking a long, hot, relaxing shower…..while using all your expensive, smelly good stuff from Bath and Body Works… just sitting in the shower and letting the hot water wash away all the stress from the day... and getting as squeaky clean as possible….. and then coming out into the quiet master bedroom… it's quiet because the kids are asleep of course… and then SLOWLY and gently applying the smelly good lotion that’s the same flavor as the Bath and Body Works shower gel that you just washed with… putting on some comfy,clean pajamas and then.... You have to go poop.
That’s really annoying… ALMOST as annoying as when I do ALL that relaxing stuff and then hubby wants to get frisky….. Getting frisky usually means getting squirted on all over my leg/back/thighs… usually just one of those body parts, not all at the same time though...
And THEN, I have to do all that relaxing stuff all over again… except this time, its NOT relaxing… its annoying, because I have to do it all over again…
And I know one of my many uptight teacher friends is going to read this and send me an email/text saying, "Gosh darn it Heaven! Why are you so vulgar and raunchy?!?!"
And that will be followed by a response like, "Dag nab it! Why are you so uptight and teacher-like?!?!"
Why do people act like they don't pee/poop and have their periods every month? Why do people act like other people don't have sex and get skeeted on occasionally. I'm married AND I'm human AND I live in America! So that means I can have sex, without being judged…...poop without having to hold it in ....and talk about it freely because I the First Amendment right to do so...
Now DO something about it!
That’s really annoying… ALMOST as annoying as when I do ALL that relaxing stuff and then hubby wants to get frisky….. Getting frisky usually means getting squirted on all over my leg/back/thighs… usually just one of those body parts, not all at the same time though...
And THEN, I have to do all that relaxing stuff all over again… except this time, its NOT relaxing… its annoying, because I have to do it all over again…
And I know one of my many uptight teacher friends is going to read this and send me an email/text saying, "Gosh darn it Heaven! Why are you so vulgar and raunchy?!?!"
And that will be followed by a response like, "Dag nab it! Why are you so uptight and teacher-like?!?!"
Why do people act like they don't pee/poop and have their periods every month? Why do people act like other people don't have sex and get skeeted on occasionally. I'm married AND I'm human AND I live in America! So that means I can have sex, without being judged…...poop without having to hold it in ....and talk about it freely because I the First Amendment right to do so...
Now DO something about it!
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