Talk about unFLATtering....

I rarely get to go to the club. But when I do, I always see some foolishness that makes me WISH I had my camera. Luckily for me, this time... I had my camera handy and I got to capture the HOT MESS while it was happening. There were two things in particular that stood out. Here is the first one...

Now you don't ever really think to put white folks in the "Hot Mess" catergory, but I think this would qualify. This chic right here obviously doesn't have much of a support system or ANY friends for that matter. Anyone that remotely cares about this woman would have saw her in this dress and would have said "Becky, you have to make the right choices in life, and because I care about you, I'm strongly suggesting that you don't wear a dress that makes it look like your butt and back are supposed to be the same body part."
You see! It woulda been that simple! And then lil Susy woulda went back into her closet and put on something a lil more appropriate. Something A-OK to wear in 40 degree weather. Being that it was 43 degress in ATL this particular night. I'm just saying...

Speaking of going to the club in 40 degree weather. It's amazing to me how girls will freeze their lil nipples off and stand in line to get in a club wearing nothing but shoe laces on their body. Can't you just wear a coat in line and then take it off when you get inside? There is bound to be one ugly girl in your crew that is going to sit down the whole time and not dance.... so SHE can watch the coats right??? This is all assuming there isnt a coat check of course.

I remember the days when I was in college standing in line... cold as hell... huddling with my girlfriends like homeless people standing next to a fire.... rubbing my exposed shoulder on someones exposed back to create some body heat...... It was CRAZY and ridiculous! But then again... I was 20! It made sense then... but if you're over 21... you should make some better choices. Its either look cute while you're getting loose in the club OR get pneumonia. I know there are some footdraggers out there who would choose the pneumonia....ANYHOW.... onto the next piece of hot mess ....

Raven is schooling me...again!

This is a conversation that Raven and I are having while holding hands and walking through the Walmart parking lot in the rain.

R:  Mommy?...... Where do bald eagles live?

M:  Uhhhhh... I don't know... in trees I guess?!?!

R:  No Mommy. You're wrong! They live in Washington D.C.! Ya know... in the United States?!!?

M:  Well excuse ME! If you knew, then why did you even ask me?

R:  Because... I wanted to see if you knew the answer!

Still walking.... in silence....

R:  Mommy, I think that you should stop working and come to school with me everyday.

M:  How come?

R:  Because... I think you forgot everything you learned when you were in school. Everytime I ask you questions, you always say, "I don't know!" ..........Mommy! What do you know?

Cursing...

I curse! I would say I curse more than the average college educated mother and wife. I curse and I believe in God. Is that so bad? I would really really really love to know who said "shit, fuck and damn" were all bad words. I don't know the bible as well as I should, but I don't believe those words are in there as the words to avoid. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Although I do curse alot, I know that there is a time and a place for everything. For example, I know not to curse in front of my kids, my parents and priests. I just feel like when you curse it just makes shit sound better. Its like the exclamation point without the exclamation point.

Its not that I have to curse...I just choose to. It hasn't taken away or added anything to my life. BUT...it did get me in this article...http://blisstree.com/feel/want-to-get-happy-first-get-angry/

Itsy Bitsy Spider...

Rhea singing Itsy Bitsy spider! You have to be a complete idiot to not think this is not the cutest thing EVER!!! This is what I DO!..... I breed SUPERSTARS!

Daddy and Raven's Handshake...

Daddy has a serious bond with his girls. He teaches them everything! Here is something that he taught Raven a couple years ago and she still hasn't forgot it. Check out the Kool-Aid smile she gives the camera at the end! Loves it!

Breaking News...

The weapons of mass destruction that George Bush has been looking for all these years have finally been found. Turns out they were in Rhea’s diaper all this time. (Exhibit A attached below.) I seriously hope the government doesn’t come after me because I’ve been harboring a terrorist. I wonder… if they will give me a finders fee. If they do, and they need to take Rhea to do some investigating on her, I might give them a BOGO deal..... and let them take Raven too …. for the right price of course.

OK. OK. I kid. I kid. It’s a joke people! Don’t try to report me to the Dept. of Children of Families. If you do, we’ll be on the first flight outta Georgia and be hanging out in somebodies hut in East Africa… so don’t waste your time.

In all seriousness, I just don’t understand how an adorable two year old, who eats balanced meals can smell like a 60 year old man. It just doesn’t add up! She’s two and I’m STILL not used to it. Every time I change her, I can feel my lil nose hairs burning up like I’m sniffing on a lighter. And then… I can feel my breathing slow down as if my lungs are giving up on me. Something is not right about this. I have been changing diapers for a long time. I know what’s normal and what’s not. And what’s coming out of that lil body… IS NOT.

Why does this bother me?

I'm driving to work... and what do I see? A white man in a pick up truck... in Georgia...with a damn confederate flag...waving all over the damn place! The flag is so big it seems like the red neck is trying to say "Yeah! Ya god darn right I got this big ol flag waving tall and proud! I'm a rebel!"   ....Something about it bothered me. What bothered me more is that I was actually bothered by it.

 This dude has his rights! He can paint his whole damn car the colors of the confederate flag right?  He can have a front plate that says Lynchville and a back plate number that reads NI993R  .....Why should I care?!?!? .... I'm not exactly sure...I just know that I do.   BUT...I bet ya $2 that Billy Ray wouldn't go anywhere NEAR Atlanta with that damn thing on his car! It's cause we live in the sticks he feels he can be bold!

If I see him on the road again, I'll be sure to stare him down and when we make eye contact, I'll stick my tongue out and accelerate really fast and haul ass outta there! I'm bold. Not dumb. .....AND I have seen that movie "A Time to Kill". Billy Ray ain't throwing ME over no bridge!