***Dookie Love!

Don't you just LOVE it when you go take a dookie and it comes out clean, quick and all in one piece?? I don't know why that brings me so much joy?!?

I once saw an Oprah show with Doctor Oz on it and he said that your dookie should come out all in one piece and should make an S shape. EVERYTIME I poop and have something that looks remotely like an S, I jump for joy... even before I wipe! Makes me feel like I'm eating well and getting the fiber I need. And thats a big deal with me cause of the amount of Pepsi's I drink in a week. Dr. Oz also says that if your poop floats... you gotta problem! You have too much fat in your diet.

But anyway, I just feel so much cleaner after I take a dooce and all I need is some good ol Charmin to wipe me up! I feel clean enough using the Charmin, but only when I have that large, smooth, one piece dookie.

But MAN when I have those chunkie dookies.... its not a good look! I immediately feel like I need to take a shower or at least jump in the tub and just clean off my bottom area. PLEASE don't act like you have never jumped in the tub JUST to clean your bottom area..... usually right before sex right! lol

ONE TIME for the one piece, smooth dookie love!! Yeah BOYEE!!

Side bar:
What is up with going to peoples houses and they have that lame ass one layer tissue paper? How inconsiderate of them! Keep that cheap shit in the master bath and keep the good stuff in the guest bathroom. How do you know your guests want to use that?? Its one thing for public restrooms to use that cause they go thru the toilet paper so quickly, but if your homegirl is using your toilet, don't leave her with the paper that is going to make her get pee and poo on her hands after one vigourous wipe! What up with that? Trust that no one is going to have to suffer like that when they come in my home.

Side bar 2:
What is up with peoples issue with using public restrooms?? Why do people pee there but have such a hard time taking a dooce? Its the same thing, just maybe with more sound affects and fragrance. Just be smart and hold the actual push for when someone in the stall next to you flushes OR wait till everyone is gone! WHats the big deal? I refuse to hold my dookie for anyone! Maybe thats cause my bladder isnt the strongest but OH WELL! Its not meant to be held in! SHit it out man!
When I went to the University of Florida, i remember walking on campus a little while before graduation and thinking about all the memories I had in college. Then all of a sudden, I had to take a dooce and the nearest bathroom was in a new building the school had made. I know every building has a bathroom so you know I took care of my business up in there. But as I was on the camode and admiring the new fancy bathroom, i thought about all the buildings and bathrooms I had taken a dooce in on campus! I blessed the majority of all them buildings! And why.... cause I had to shit and didn't feel the need to hold it, catch the bus and go to my apartment. I'm cool with my bowels like that!

Stop fronting like we all don't do it!

Dookie Love.