St. Patricks Day.

It's St. Patricks Day and because I'm kinda something like the All-American mom, (although I am NOT American, just have adjusted to the American lifestyle), I dressed up my myself and my little ladybugs in green. I really did it for Raven because I just KNEW all the kids at school would be dressed in green. I figured that she already stands out being the tallest kid in the class, along with being the only "brown" kid (as she calls it). I figured wearing green would allow her to blend in some.
8 hours later...
Now it's St. Patricks night and Daddy is working late and I put the kids to sleep about 20 minutes ago. FINALLY, some alone time!I have an AWESOME turkey sandwich in one hand, a cup full of cold Pepsi, a plate of Doritos and the remote to the DVR in the other hand. Just as I'm about to simultaneosly take a bite into my samich, (yes, I said samich) and also hit PLAY towatch a really juicy Oprah show, Raven comes running out of the room like a mad woman into the living room!

"MOMMY!!!!"

"Raven WHAT?!!!?... Why are you not asleep?!?!

"Because MOMMY!...It's St. Patricks Day! I'm supposed to be wearing green!!!"

"Raven, you had green on ALL DAY! St. Patricks day is just about over. So go to bed!"

"But Mommy, Ms. Natalie said that I need to wear green when I go to sleep...if I don't the leprechaun  will pinch me in my sleep!!"

So now of course, I'm pissed.

"Ms. Natalie was joking with you. Thats not true."

"Ms. Natalie is NOT a liar! And she wouldn't joke about something like that!

"Oh well. I'm not getting up and you need to go to sleep.... so GOOD NIGHT!"

Tears starting to form in her eyes and her voice is a little shaky.... and she is shaking her head side to side in that "you ain't shit Mommy" kinda way...

"Mommy. That's not even fair. That's not even right. You have green pants on! You're PROTECTED!! Are you and Daddy going to protect ME and let me sleep in your bed ALL NIGHT LONG?!?!"

Dropped my samich. Dropped my remote.

"Get yo butt in that bed!"

She runs in the room and jumps in the bed.

Now I'm going through the drawers, going through bags of clothes thats been put to the side for the Salvation Army, going through piles of dirty clothes. There HAS to be a green damn shirt SOMEWHERE in this house!!!!! And FINALLY, I find a green shirt in my drawer that I have been holding on to, because I'm confident one day I will fit in it again without having to suck my stomach in. It finally came in handy before that day has come.

I go in her room and I say, "Raven get up. I have a green shirt for you."

This lil heffer pops up from underneath the covers with a damn green shirt on!

"OH! I'm sorry Mommy, I took off my pajama top and I had on my green under shirt on from earlier. I was too tired to get out of bed and tell you. But I'm protected now. Good Night!".......

This little muth@#$%%#$$$ ...