Happy Anniversary.

It's just amazing how time flies right past you. Tomorrow, May 26th, will be my three year wedding anniversary. To be honest, it seems so much longer than that because in December, we would have been together a total of eight years!  How awesome is that!??

Marriage is definitely work! But this is the best job ever! Getting married was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I'm so glad that I get to share these  family memories, and spend these wonderful times of watching my kids grow with someone I LOVE and who is on the same page as me... who is all about US... ALL of us and not just themselves. Someone who is dedicated to me and these children and who I KNOW would fight ten men and three pit bulls to protect us!

I don't like to say great things about my marriage for two reasons...for one, there are two many miserable, hateful ass people out there who just hope and pray for your destruction....... and reason two being, YOU NEVER KNOW what lies in store for you. I'm optimistic, but not naive and I don't like people to see egg on my face!

 When people start growing and changing, sometimes they grow in different directions and that tends to build a wedge between the marriage. But thank God Almighty that we have managed to grow as individuals and still be on the same path, and headed in the same direction in life and luckily for us... our marriage is working... its healthy and we are happy. I know everyone can't say that and because of that I'm SO grateful. God is good.

Here is a picture I took one early morning on my way to work. Everyone was asleep and I was getting ready to head out the door. Before I left, I had to grab my wedding band of course! This little counter space is where we put all the things that we don't want Rhea to get her hands on. This is where we usually leave our bands every night and pick them up from every morning. But there was something about the way the rings were laid out this particular morning that made me want to take a picture of it... It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

I don't understand...

I do not understand... I just don't get how two girls, that were shot out of the same nut sack, into the same exact cervix... marinated in the same uterus and were farted out of the same EXACT coochie... can be so AMAZINGLY different! Although they may have similar physical characteristics, these girls have COMPLETELY different personalities.

One is mild, sweet and cooperative and the other is wild, anti-social and disobedient. You can tell one to not touch something and just give her a lil crazy eye and she will never even look at the thing again. On the other hand, you have the other one that needs to be beat with a wooden spoon, left out in the cold rain on the porch over night...starved almost to death and she will STILL put her hands on that "thing".... and THEN will smile at you when she gets caught with it... and THEN will throw it at you and run away in the other direction.

Are we doing something different here? No, we're not! We have maintained our rearing techniques and it seemed to work for one, but the other seems to following the beat of her own drum. Luckily for me, I have seen enough Oprah, Dr. Phil and Intervention shows to know that we should never treat them differently even though they behave differently, but I still DO NOT understand!

Can she really be THAT different?

BTW... don't try to report me to Dept. of Children and Families about the whole wooden spoon, porch and starving thing. If you have read my blog posts... then you should understand my sense of humor by now! This is my last disclaimer.

Me?? My own show?

On Friday, May 14th, my sister sends me a text saying that Oprah is having a competition for the next talk show host ...and that I should look into it. The first thing I think is... Man please, there are going to be hundreds of thousands of people submitting their auditions... Why would anyone chose me? So I told my husband about it and told him about my fear of failing .....or people knowing that I tried and I didn't make it... His reponse was, "The worst thing they could tell you is NO! Someone has to tell you no, before someone else tells you yes."

So with that thought in mind... I decided to work on submitting my video. What's the worst that could happen? People laugh? People think my video submission sucks? That I'm lame? I'm not worthy of having my own show? ... Well, I went on Oprah's Web site and viewed some of the videos that have already been submitted ...and I realized that if these lame ass boring people are bold and wacky enough to think they have a shot... then damn it... get the camera and my eye liner ready... I'm ready for my close up!

Wish me luck!...... Damn the luck..... just send up a prayer.

St. Patricks Day.

It's St. Patricks Day and because I'm kinda something like the All-American mom, (although I am NOT American, just have adjusted to the American lifestyle), I dressed up my myself and my little ladybugs in green. I really did it for Raven because I just KNEW all the kids at school would be dressed in green. I figured that she already stands out being the tallest kid in the class, along with being the only "brown" kid (as she calls it). I figured wearing green would allow her to blend in some.
8 hours later...
Now it's St. Patricks night and Daddy is working late and I put the kids to sleep about 20 minutes ago. FINALLY, some alone time!I have an AWESOME turkey sandwich in one hand, a cup full of cold Pepsi, a plate of Doritos and the remote to the DVR in the other hand. Just as I'm about to simultaneosly take a bite into my samich, (yes, I said samich) and also hit PLAY towatch a really juicy Oprah show, Raven comes running out of the room like a mad woman into the living room!

"MOMMY!!!!"

"Raven WHAT?!!!?... Why are you not asleep?!?!

"Because MOMMY!...It's St. Patricks Day! I'm supposed to be wearing green!!!"

"Raven, you had green on ALL DAY! St. Patricks day is just about over. So go to bed!"

"But Mommy, Ms. Natalie said that I need to wear green when I go to sleep...if I don't the leprechaun  will pinch me in my sleep!!"

So now of course, I'm pissed.

"Ms. Natalie was joking with you. Thats not true."

"Ms. Natalie is NOT a liar! And she wouldn't joke about something like that!

"Oh well. I'm not getting up and you need to go to sleep.... so GOOD NIGHT!"

Tears starting to form in her eyes and her voice is a little shaky.... and she is shaking her head side to side in that "you ain't shit Mommy" kinda way...

"Mommy. That's not even fair. That's not even right. You have green pants on! You're PROTECTED!! Are you and Daddy going to protect ME and let me sleep in your bed ALL NIGHT LONG?!?!"

Dropped my samich. Dropped my remote.

"Get yo butt in that bed!"

She runs in the room and jumps in the bed.

Now I'm going through the drawers, going through bags of clothes thats been put to the side for the Salvation Army, going through piles of dirty clothes. There HAS to be a green damn shirt SOMEWHERE in this house!!!!! And FINALLY, I find a green shirt in my drawer that I have been holding on to, because I'm confident one day I will fit in it again without having to suck my stomach in. It finally came in handy before that day has come.

I go in her room and I say, "Raven get up. I have a green shirt for you."

This lil heffer pops up from underneath the covers with a damn green shirt on!

"OH! I'm sorry Mommy, I took off my pajama top and I had on my green under shirt on from earlier. I was too tired to get out of bed and tell you. But I'm protected now. Good Night!".......

This little muth@#$%%#$$$ ...

Do what I say! Not what I do!

It trips me out how I contradict everything I tell Raven. Everything I tell this child not to do... is EXACTLY what I do! Here is a list of some of those things.

Raven, DO NOT...
Hit your sister!
Yell at your sister!
Talk to your Daddy like that!
Pick your nose!
Bite your nails!
Dig in your drawers!
Go to sleep without brushing your teeth!
Drink your juice before you finish your food!
Leave any dishes in the room!
Leave the bathroom door open!
Stare at people!
Point at people and laugh!
Boss people around!
Use your finger to dig into the pudding cup to get that last lil bit out of it!
Hold your pee until you're about to piss yourself!
Roll your eyes!
Cough into your hand!
Chew on pen tops!
Scratch your head! .. (just pat it)

And finally.... DO NOT drink ANY of that soda! (The biggest contradiction of them all.)

But I will end the way I started... my kids are supposed to do what I say! Not what I do! Is that a retarded ass concept? Perhaps. But its a concept that I plan to follow till the end of my days! I KNOW that I should be leading by example... I KNOW... but I'm not perfect... I just want my kids to be!