Cheese and Roaches...

If you look closely at this picture, you'll see a bright light on my chest. If you allow yourself to think with your eyes, then you would be fooled into thinking that the sun was shining through the window onto my necklace and making the bright reflection. But a wiser man would know that the light is actually my heart beaming with love for this man that I call my husband. Cheesy??? Yeah... I know! But there is something about this love and companionship that I share with this dude that makes me care less what anyone thinks about the cheesiness! We DO cheesy! Cheesy fries, Nacho Cheese… even grilled cheese sandwiches…. We DO cheesy all day! It's who we are and I wouldn't have it any other way. It took some TIME to get the texture and consistency of this cheese JUST right!!…So when people call me cheesy, (and they usually do)...I don't mind at all...

I used to worry about saying good things about our partnership openly, for fear that some old, dusty flames would come creeping out of moldy rocks and try to rain on my parade (he IS a former athlete and sometimes you have to think about those things) ... but then a Bible thumping friend of mine reminded me of a scripture..."What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

... And besides, in the wise words of the R&B one hit wonder, Mokenstef, "Bitch, he's mine! You may have had him once! But I got him ALL the time!" The song didn't really say 'bitch', but I thought it was a nice touch for emphasis purposes.

The subject of hoes and athletes brings me to a related subject. I remember after I graduated college and moved back home to Miami, I delivered my first daughter. My baby daddy was traveling from Indiana to Jacksonville to Miami frequently because he was playing pro ball at the time .In the middle of all this, I joined Facebook early 2005 and I reunited with some folks from college. I was messaging one girl in particular back and forth as we were updating each other on our lives. She was still in undergrad, and I had been out a year. Our catching up was going well, …. until she pissed me off with a message that was kinda like this,

"Girl, I don't know how you do it! You are a very strong person. To have to deal with all the things that you deal with... And you are still hanging on and standing by your man." I wanted to respond like this, "What the hell is you talking about?? Bitch, do you know something about my man that I don't know??".... Instead, my response was, "I'm not understanding you. What do you mean by "things I have had to deal with"... Her response..."Well, with your man playing at Florida and now in the NFL, I can imagine the things that he might be doing."

This is how I wanted to respond to her dumb ass "concern" and "admiration" for me, …... "Because you're ugly, 23 years of age, and have never had a boyfriend, I could understand why you would assume crazy shit like that. But a grown woman who has experienced life, love and heartaches in the past knows what a true relationship is about. A grown woman also knows better than to assume shit about someone else's relationship and actually express those ASSumptions out loud. Since you haven't had the opportunity to have a boyfriend, much less a first kiss, let me educate you on the facts of life. A mans profession/ hobbies doesn't dictate how deceptive he is going to be to his companion. If its in a mans heart to step out on his relationship, then it doesn't matter if he is a CEO, garbage man, Senator, math teacher, astronaut, janitor, or a priest that's feeling up on a 10 year old boy's lil balls...
All people (not just men) are capable of deceiving their companion. Temptation is everywhere and sluts/hoes/home wreckers are EVERYWHERE! I can't follow after each and every roach with a flip flop and CRUNCH them into the ground whenever they get too close to my man. Its my mans job to crunch the roaches on his own! He needs to carry his own damn flip flop... And that flip flop is really just symbolic for carrying around his love, respect and loyalty for me. He should carry it everywhere he goes because you never know when a roach with full lips and a big booty is going to pass by or be lurking behind a corner! And although she might be tempting, at the end of the day... She's a ROACH!!!! And you know what they say about roaches! Them hoes don't DIE.. They multiply! Roaches come in all sizes, shapes and colors…. Shit… YOU might be a damn ROACH! Writing this stupid shit to me…. And we NOT even cool like that for you be bringing up my damn boyfriend in the first damn place!!!! But anyhow, ugly girl… the point is… ... No matter what the profession the man holds, just KNOW that there will always be roaches and several other different kinds of sea urchins and parasites crawling around him. You can't a control that man and you can't control a pest. All you can do is control your self!!!!!"

I didn't say all of that to the ugly girl though….... Instead, I just never responded to her last message... And let her continue to assume the worst for me. It made sense why she was so negative though. Her lack of experience was the reason why she was SO ignorant. And her ugliness was the reason for her lack of experience... Yeah... I know that's mean. But it doesn't take away from the fact that it's true….

This is my testimony, and hopefully by now, ugly girl has had the opportunity to have one of her own…

Here is a video of Mokenstef's one and only hit from the early 1990's. It's a bit disturbing, (especially the first line in the first verse) but it was a catchy song to jam to at the time...